Indian Parentzzz!

Whether or not others criticize me, I think the ones who curse me the most are my very own parents! Yes, I'm so bloody proud to announce this! As usual....I got scolded (Or maybe...cursed) for nothing at all. Very used to it, especially if you're an Indian. Though I'm so numb (because you've said the same things over infinite number of times), those words that were spilled out knowingly/unknowingly is making my blood boil! To you, I am dumb, useless, good for nothing, a waste in life...you even questioned my birth & presence. Yea....wad other positive things can u come up with anyway? In fact, you even blurted out the same words when I graduated from primary & secondary school, despite me being a bright student.


Even when I was first in the entire level for two consecutive years, all you could come up with was 'Why din you do even better in this subject?' ..... 'How come your friend did so well & you fared like this?' Blablabla...without fail, there's always COMPARISON involved! Whereas, not even once have you appreciated my efforts & believed in me that I am much more capable of better things ahead. All you do is to goddamn condemn & criticize me till your fullest potential. You dun see me trying whenever I study long hours...but you scold me whenever I take short breaks in between, blaming me that I am lazy! LAZY...oh wells of course I'm lazy, cos the whole time when you're sound asleep, I burnt midnight all the way studying. How can you see that with those closed eyes, temme? Funny people... And its not as though my results were in favor of me either. For some reason...no matter how much of effort I keep putting in, its still not enough!!! That just irritates the SHIT out of me cos I know I AM NOT THAT DUMB after all...even if you assume otherwise. Study hard also like shit; study smart even more shit. So wad...I'm supposed to incorporate study hard into study smart which eventually = I AM GENIUS?! I won't be appalled if you ever came up with that equation one fine day!


Why can't you see that I'm NOT a science student? Step-by-step factual analysis is NOT my style. The collaboration of random things into something unique...that sounds more like me! When will you realize that? Don't keep shoving expectations on me... I create my own expectations. This is my life! I have certain principles & expectations of myself...where no one else knows. In fact, they're even higher than what you expect. No matter how many times you've played the music that I'll never prosper in life, I'm least affected by your reckless words. Because I am what I am & I will be where I ought to be. So save your words please.


Just cos I'm keeping silent all the way, it doesn't point to the fact that I am deaf & ignorant to your waging tongues. I'll let you talk as much as you want. However, on my day of victory, I'll still remain silent..only thing: my gaze on you would have spoken thousands of words, that you yourself would be dumbfounded for words.



Till then..... I'll keep striving for...? Only my heart noes...:)

If Only....

Why is it that many people start appreciating things only after losing them in their lives? The existence of someone is finally acknowledged once that person is no longer with us....or once that person has drifted away from us. As this happens, one eventually starts reminiscing or recollecting sweet and nostalgic moments spent together with the person involved. On the other hand, one fails to realize the worth of a person, who appears transparent throughout all those times or moments they had been with him/her.

WHY?! Izzit due to negligence....plain ignorance or complacency? We often take for-granted many things in life. What's the point of crying over split milk? You should have noticed your mistakes before hand; its not as though you din know..but you chose not to change and be like that. There are also people who push the blame towards fate once everything is gone, appearing helpless. 'Yes its easy to blame everything on the west, when in fact all focus should be on ourselves!'- Do you see yourself here?

If yes, have you decided to do something about it?

Various reasons account for why people drift away from us; which comprise of our character, the way we handle situations, our reactions towards certain events or others' emotions, & as a whole, the kinda personality we portray in front of people....the image they have in mind wheneva our name pops out. However, sometimes the quote 'certain things are better left unsaid' and 'ignorance is bliss' play a part as well....which is why some people regard keeping a distance somewhat of a positive & a good thing to start off with.


To me, what I feel is that, life is certainly short to be spending time holding grudges against one another. Let bygones be bygones; and to those who made your life miserable...look at them in the eye with a smile and arms wide open, welcoming them into your world of forgiveness wholeheartedly. If you forgive, you'd eventually forget & I MEAN IT, because those people who say 'I forgive but I dun forget' are full of CRAP! You are unable to forget since you're still harping on that issue in some corner of your heart, which you do not want to admit, however on the pretext of having a big heart in front of others, you say you have forgiven, when in fact you've not! Wads all this pretense for? For whom? Dun you realize you're lying to yourself..?

For once, cut all the pretense and start living in reality. Be practical & face the truth right there as it is! How long more are you gonna be childish? How long more do you wanna live with regret..that you want things in life to change? They'll never change unless you implement change into your life. Let it happen instead of brooding over it for ages. Most importantly, be bold enough to admit your own mistakes. Apologize whenever or wherever necessary. It doesn't hurt to say sorry. You won't appear small; neither would your reputation be tarnished. Unleash that ego of yours that's becoming a hurdle towards things that you ought to be doing. Trust me, you'll see a difference in what life has to offer you! Again, life is short. Its up to you to make it colorful.

Go up to those whom you cherish & treasure...and tell them how much they mean to you. Be it emails, hand-written letters, cards, smses...whatever medium you make use of...just let them know you how much you care for them indeed. And I'm sure no matter what kinda day they've gone through, especially if its rough, it will spread a smile across their faces, without doubt. Embrace close ones NOW...for you'll never know when its time for you to let go of them forever...you might not get a chance to even express your love to them when you needed to the most; even if they are small little gestures, it'll make their day. In fact, these small gestures of love are the ones that bring life to many things out there in this so-called monotonous lives that most of us are leading...where we could not find the time to spend with the ones we love. Do not say "If time permits...". It's the little things you do for others whenever time doesn't permit, that makes you special in their hearts.


Treasure things. Treasure people. Nothing in life is permanent.


I hope people learn to appreciate others despite indifference before its too late. If whatever I wrote so far did created an impact on you, I'd be more than happy to be part of the change you'd wanna see in you. :)

Still thinkin' of one...

Well...here I am on my bed, quite sleepy yet determined to at least publish something worth reading....i guess.

Doncha wish it was raining now.. so heavily that you're clinging tightly to your thick sweater, blanket etc.. Imagine there's snow in Singapore...How wonderful that could be.. Just you & that special someone, sitting next to one another near the fireplace, catching a glimpse of each of your faces through the burning flames. Awwwww....romantic yea..? Of cos it's R-O-M-A-N-T-I-C when all i could do is to sighhhh heavily & wait for (duno how many decades) for that one & only moment to come true. How romantic can it get? C'mon!!! Do I really sound that needy? Seriously? Isn't it a good feeling to appear weak towards someone whom you can trust, feel comfy with, & someone whom you can weigh your burden on. That someone who, despite several ups & downs, fights & arguments; is still there for you...no matter what happens! That kinda tingly, butterfly feeling/ atmosphere (or wadeva you call that) you're being engulfed in whenever his/her name appears.. Magical as it sounds. Yet I'm afraid its all gonna be just a dream that ain't gonna be fulfilled...that ain't gonna come alive. All of those feelings are kept hidden in that somewhat 4 walls of ma heart... due to my insecurity.

AllllllRight.... I better head off to bed. Enough of all that loveyyy doveyyy crap for now!

Gdnyt... $weEt DreamZ peep3...

xoxo... <333