Saturday, December 24, 2011

Things that piss me off..!

I'm not a person who blows her top often...who gets angry easily & all. BUT, dun push your limits. When I'm angry, you'll regret for sure. Plus, my anger doesn't last long! (Arrrgghh...no matter how hard I try to stay angry, I can't. Dun ask me why! Its just me.)


Some of the things that irritate me..or rather those that I find annoying:


1. If a person keeps arguing with me, when I know I'm right.
(I know when I am right. Or else I wouldn't be standing firm on my beliefs, you DUMBASS!)


2. When people do not admit their mistakes, despite knowing its their fault!
They always wanna win! - Seriously..get a life! I really admire those who accept defeat. In my eyes, they are the real winners, warriors, survivors etc...


3. Youths who do not take their lives seriously!- If you think you have a HELL lot of time out there, indulging in activities that deter you from being in a good position in life, please do a self-analysis & RECONSIDER your priorities! Life is not as easy as you think.


4. People who show-off!- Hello, I dun care how many PRADA bags you own, or how technologically-advanced you are with your iphones/ipads, if you have a low level of intellect, you are USELESS! Most importantly, if your character sucks, THROW them in the drain! Period.


5. Guys & girls who disrespect their moms.- Just go & die!


6. Girls who cut their wrists, all in the name of love!- I'd rather cut my wrist because I've not done well for my exams, than for a guy! Tats fcuking pathetic & stupid! WAKE UP WILL YA!!!

--->Well...tats what i did during school: Went to the restroom, locked myself up in one of the cubicles, cried & started cutting myself, because I got a B for a subject! Hehe..:P
(Dun blame me for that. A sudden B after consecutive years of maintaining a distinction was INDEED a big blow for me!)


7. Girls who keep quiet & do nothing as they get thrashed by their bfs nicely!- WTH is wrong with you?! A guy is beating you up & all you could do is stand there & keep mum?! Just kick his damn balls & walk off!

P.S: A guy is not a guy when he beats a girl. He is the girl! So for god sake, please thrash that b!tcH! You dun have to think twice. Just do it!


8. People who think that the world owes them a living.- FUCK OFF! Your existence is invalid!


9. You: Hey, wanna know something? Its about 'X'. He/She...
Me: Yea..what is it?
You: Erm..nahh nothing.

----> Once again, my middle finger rises up to salute you kind of fucktards!
If you dun wanna say it, WHY BRING UP THE SUBJECT IN THE FIRST PLACE?! -.-



10. People who keep me guessing...or rather beat about the bush.
- CAN YOU JUST FREAKING GET TO THE POINT!!!


11. Those smart alexes in your class.- YOU ONLY EXIST WHEN I'M IN DOUBT! OTHER THAN THAT, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT IN CLASS, when the teacher is trying to educate! There's a reason for why you're STILL a bloody student & not the teacher!



12. Parents who scold you when you're actually studying BUT fail to notice when you've got something up your sleeves!- GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT, FOR ONCE!


13. Idiots who spread rumors about you!- Self-explanatory by the bold word.


14. People who keep complaining about the most trivial matters.- HOW UNIQUE can you be?


15. When Facebook suggests you friends to add & people on Twitter suggest you people to follow!- Why not you suggest a life time partner for me instead? PERFECT ONE, nothing less!


16. When you gave up your seat to an old person, and a FAT B!tcH comes hogging your seat!- WTF! I stood up for him NOT for you! You're that blind to even observe your surroundings?
Poor you! In that case, you DO deserve that seat more than him, I guess..


17. When that one person in the group who keeps talking like there's never an end!- IN CASE, you aren't aware, just telling ya...NOBODY GIVES A DAMN & the world doesn't revolve around you! So shudDup & keep your stories to yourself! Give others a chance to talk as well!


18. When a guy kisses you with his eyes opened- Tell me why I'm not intimidated?! You seriously need kissing classes, unless her assets are much more appealing than her kiss!


19. When even the most ugliest person in your class is attached, while you're there being attached to your books!- No comments. This always happens to me! HAHA...NAH JK! Just saying though...that feeling of inadequacy S-U-C-K-S!


And lasst but not leasttt......

20. When I'm watching the most crucial part of a show, DUN EVER WALK PASS THE DAMN TV!- You know what I mean...

Hehe...yub...for now, these are the 20 things that irk me! Can you relate to me?
Yes----> Good for you.
No-----> I dun care! :P

A side note: I apologize if I sound kinda vulgar in this post. OK. Not kinda but yes I was vulgar.
However, if you agree to what I've listed down, I'm sure my vulgarities are justifiable! :)





Friday, December 16, 2011

When boredom strikes...& passion comes in...







Bonjour! :)

AnnnnnnnnnnD here I am, once again, presenting you what I normally do when I'm sad, angry, bored, happy & wadeva emotions you can come up with... Started out doing art during secondary school years & ceased for about...hmm..3 years I suppose? After 3 years, I'm back here pursuing this thing. Kinda miss those days when I had art lessons, entering quite a number of competitions, unlike now whereby opportunities do not readily knock on the door. I can clearly say I'm not that perfect though in the drawings above. Will strive for perfection when I pursue my dream in the future yea.. I DO NOT know HOW, but we shall see what comes around then.. :)))

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Mi baby, Spartan.




I MISS MY BABY TRUCKLOADS! :(((
Miss carrying him in ma arms, kissing him!
Out of all 3 dogs, I miss him the MOST, not forgetting pearl, the black b!tch, (:P) which by now looks like a bulldozer!! Hehe..:P

Can't wait to visit them man!

Muacks...muacks..MUACKS!! <3

Thursday, December 8, 2011





-----> HAHA! True indeed...! Don't waste your tears on those who are not worthy.

Instead, be happy that you know where they stand in your life. :)

Friday, December 2, 2011

Dido - White Flag


------> I'll never grow tired of this song..!

My cries for help!


Dear God,

I'm writing this to you in the hope that you'll heed my prayers & fulfill one wish of mine. I dun wanna live this life anymore. Please take my life away. Just one wish and I'll promise I won't disturb you anymore alright...

I've been through a lot for the past two years. Shit! Purely shit. Two years might not seem that long. But, these two years have had drastic impact on the way I view life as it is now. From a gawky teenager to a matured woman. People who have come and gone out of my life taught me tremendous life lessons, which I managed to pull through together, with your help and guidance. You heard my cries every night, you saw my fears, you witnessed me suffering there, engulfed in the arms of demons, I was strangled in thick smoke where no one else except You, were present! Yet, with each and every consecutive failure I faced, I grew MUCH MUCH STRONGER, at the same time, I became NUMB! Every decision I made from the start, wasn't decided by me. Whereas, others determined my life path. People ruined my life. People killed me inside out. People disguised themselves, putting up a fake front. That was life then. This is STILL the same life now. Nothing has changed, except the fact that I have grown wiser enough to throw you the remark, ''Show me the genuine ones for ONCE, Lord!"


I'm frustrated, TIRED of everything! People dun treat me right. They take me for-granted. On the other hand, I am the kinda person who can TOLERATE all their shit. Is this fair? I can't always be the one who's taking the initiative every now and then just to ensure harmony, so that there won't be any misunderstandings. I'm getting sick. I swear! People just DON'T appreciate me and all am asking you is WHY IS THAT SO? Is it because I'm having very high expectations of people. Well...I don't think so Lord. Don't you think this is merely the basic requirement in any relationship?- be it parents-children, friends, lovers, siblings... Am i really asking too much? All I can say is...my expectations of people, especially guys, are getting higher and higher each time, simply because no one is meeting the basic requirements of mutual respect. I'll keep raising the benchmark. So don't blame me if I appear to be cold-hearted in future. You know very well your child is not the definition of emotionless. I have emotions. I feel things strongly, intensely. But I'm afraid I have to suppress these emotions and appear to be cold on the outside, so that I don't get disappointed in later stages.


In fact, I wouldn't be bothered if any other person does this to me. The worst part is that the person whom I trust the MOST( You know why), turned out to be a complete stranger. He's no longer the person I used to know. If that's the case Lord, why did u make him save my life in the first place? My death could have been played right in front of your eyes. Why did u build the trust, the bond between us so deeply that you had to shoot a sudden arrow of realization across me...just like that!? And I'm sure everything happens for a reason. Tell me why! I brushed against death, came back alive..just to experience death again? How many times do you want me to undergo this grueling process? Its draining my energy.


I dun wanna appear stupid. I was naive, once. Not now. Naive till a point where no one could have imagined. Innocence- the only word I was accustomed to then. Now, I'm clouded with so much of negativity till I'm even questioning you, God! Prove your existence to me. I know you exist. I felt you then. Now, you've drifted apart from me. FAR FAR away from me you're standing with a smile. Explain. I need to hear you speak. You love seeing your child suffer, don't you? Give me an answer to those tears that are streaming down my face. I feel pain. Are you gonna be ignorant to my pleas and keep introducing me to people, who are not worthy of me? And sadly to say, these are the kinda people I've been giving in to, although its not my fault. I do it because I do not wish to upset them, in addition to my endurance. But that doesn't mean there's room for complacency.


Please take away my life. My passion to thrive has died.


Sincerely,
Lost Child
:'(

Friday, October 28, 2011

Indian Parentzzz!


Whether or not others criticize me, I think the ones who curse me the most are my very own parents! Yes, I'm so bloody proud to announce this! As usual....I got scolded (Or maybe...cursed) for nothing at all. Very used to it, especially if you're an Indian. Though I'm so numb (because you've said the same things over infinite number of times), those words that were spilled out knowingly/unknowingly is making my blood boil! To you, I am dumb, useless, good for nothing, a waste in life...you even questioned my birth & presence. Yea....wad other positive things can u come up with anyway? In fact, you even blurted out the same words when I graduated from primary & secondary school, despite me being a bright student.


Even when I was first in the entire level for two consecutive years, all you could come up with was 'Why din you do even better in this subject?' ..... 'How come your friend did so well & you fared like this?' Blablabla...without fail, there's always COMPARISON involved! Whereas, not even once have you appreciated my efforts & believed in me that I am much more capable of better things ahead. All you do is to goddamn condemn & criticize me till your fullest potential. You dun see me trying whenever I study long hours...but you scold me whenever I take short breaks in between, blaming me that I am lazy! LAZY...oh wells of course I'm lazy, cos the whole time when you're sound asleep, I burnt midnight all the way studying. How can you see that with those closed eyes, temme? Funny people... And its not as though my results were in favor of me either. For some reason...no matter how much of effort I keep putting in, its still not enough!!! That just irritates the SHIT out of me cos I know I AM NOT THAT DUMB after all...even if you assume otherwise. Study hard also like shit; study smart even more shit. So wad...I'm supposed to incorporate study hard into study smart which eventually = I AM GENIUS?! I won't be appalled if you ever came up with that equation one fine day!


Why can't you see that I'm NOT a science student? Step-by-step factual analysis is NOT my style. The collaboration of random things into something unique...that sounds more like me! When will you realize that? Don't keep shoving expectations on me... I create my own expectations. This is my life! I have certain principles & expectations of myself...where no one else knows. In fact, they're even higher than what you expect. No matter how many times you've played the music that I'll never prosper in life, I'm least affected by your reckless words. Because I am what I am & I will be where I ought to be. So save your words please.


Just cos I'm keeping silent all the way, it doesn't point to the fact that I am deaf & ignorant to your waging tongues. I'll let you talk as much as you want. However, on my day of victory, I'll still remain silent..only thing: my gaze on you would have spoken thousands of words, that you yourself would be dumbfounded for words.



Till then..... I'll keep striving for...? Only my heart noes...:)

Thursday, October 20, 2011

If Only....


Why is it that many people start appreciating things only after losing them in their lives? The existence of someone is finally acknowledged once that person is no longer with us....or once that person has drifted away from us. As this happens, one eventually starts reminiscing or recollecting sweet and nostalgic moments spent together with the person involved. On the other hand, one fails to realize the worth of a person, who appears transparent throughout all those times or moments they had been with him/her.

WHY?! Izzit due to negligence....plain ignorance or complacency? We often take for-granted many things in life. What's the point of crying over split milk? You should have noticed your mistakes before hand; its not as though you din know..but you chose not to change and be like that. There are also people who push the blame towards fate once everything is gone, appearing helpless. 'Yes its easy to blame everything on the west, when in fact all focus should be on ourselves!'- Do you see yourself here?

If yes, have you decided to do something about it?

Various reasons account for why people drift away from us; which comprise of our character, the way we handle situations, our reactions towards certain events or others' emotions, & as a whole, the kinda personality we portray in front of people....the image they have in mind wheneva our name pops out. However, sometimes the quote 'certain things are better left unsaid' and 'ignorance is bliss' play a part as well....which is why some people regard keeping a distance somewhat of a positive & a good thing to start off with.


To me, what I feel is that, life is certainly short to be spending time holding grudges against one another. Let bygones be bygones; and to those who made your life miserable...look at them in the eye with a smile and arms wide open, welcoming them into your world of forgiveness wholeheartedly. If you forgive, you'd eventually forget & I MEAN IT, because those people who say 'I forgive but I dun forget' are full of CRAP! You are unable to forget since you're still harping on that issue in some corner of your heart, which you do not want to admit, however on the pretext of having a big heart in front of others, you say you have forgiven, when in fact you've not! Wads all this pretense for? For whom? Dun you realize you're lying to yourself..?

For once, cut all the pretense and start living in reality. Be practical & face the truth right there as it is! How long more are you gonna be childish? How long more do you wanna live with regret..that you want things in life to change? They'll never change unless you implement change into your life. Let it happen instead of brooding over it for ages. Most importantly, be bold enough to admit your own mistakes. Apologize whenever or wherever necessary. It doesn't hurt to say sorry. You won't appear small; neither would your reputation be tarnished. Unleash that ego of yours that's becoming a hurdle towards things that you ought to be doing. Trust me, you'll see a difference in what life has to offer you! Again, life is short. Its up to you to make it colorful.

Go up to those whom you cherish & treasure...and tell them how much they mean to you. Be it emails, hand-written letters, cards, smses...whatever medium you make use of...just let them know you how much you care for them indeed. And I'm sure no matter what kinda day they've gone through, especially if its rough, it will spread a smile across their faces, without doubt. Embrace close ones NOW...for you'll never know when its time for you to let go of them forever...you might not get a chance to even express your love to them when you needed to the most; even if they are small little gestures, it'll make their day. In fact, these small gestures of love are the ones that bring life to many things out there in this so-called monotonous lives that most of us are leading...where we could not find the time to spend with the ones we love. Do not say "If time permits...". It's the little things you do for others whenever time doesn't permit, that makes you special in their hearts.


Treasure things. Treasure people. Nothing in life is permanent.


I hope people learn to appreciate others despite indifference before its too late. If whatever I wrote so far did created an impact on you, I'd be more than happy to be part of the change you'd wanna see in you. :)

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Still thinkin' of one...


Well...here I am on my bed, quite sleepy yet determined to at least publish something worth reading....i guess.

Doncha wish it was raining now.. so heavily that you're clinging tightly to your thick sweater, blanket etc.. Imagine there's snow in Singapore...How wonderful that could be.. Just you & that special someone, sitting next to one another near the fireplace, catching a glimpse of each of your faces through the burning flames. Awwwww....romantic yea..? Of cos it's R-O-M-A-N-T-I-C when all i could do is to sighhhh heavily & wait for (duno how many decades) for that one & only moment to come true. How romantic can it get? C'mon!!! Do I really sound that needy? Seriously? Isn't it a good feeling to appear weak towards someone whom you can trust, feel comfy with, & someone whom you can weigh your burden on. That someone who, despite several ups & downs, fights & arguments; is still there for you...no matter what happens! That kinda tingly, butterfly feeling/ atmosphere (or wadeva you call that) you're being engulfed in whenever his/her name appears.. Magical as it sounds. Yet I'm afraid its all gonna be just a dream that ain't gonna be fulfilled...that ain't gonna come alive. All of those feelings are kept hidden in that somewhat 4 walls of ma heart... due to my insecurity.

AllllllRight.... I better head off to bed. Enough of all that loveyyy doveyyy crap for now!
Gdnyt... $weEt DreamZ peep3...
xoxo... <333